We Don't Even Have To Try, It's Always A Good Time =]

I love my family. I am so grateful that I was able to spend Thanksgiving in Rexburg with a lot of my family.

I'm grateful that I have cousins around my age that I'm friends with and will always be there for me. I'm grateful that we all get along really well. I'm grateful for my cousin Alice and her willingness to drive me and my roommate up to Idaho and then all the way back to Provo even though she lives in Ogden. I'm grateful for the memories I will always have from this Thanksgiving!

I had so much fun with my cousins. We went and saw Perks of Being a Wallflower (which was super weird) and Pitch Perfect (which we couldn't stop quoting for the rest of the week). Had a laughing circle for like an hour on Thanksgiving at my Grandma's house where we laid in a circle with our heads on each other's stomachs and tried to go around the circle saying "ha" without laughing. Let's just say we couldn't make it around the circle. I think all of the adults thought we were crazy cause we were just laying on the floor laughing hysterically.

I loved spending time with my sister, Jessica. I don't get to see her as much any more cause we are in college in different states. So it was awesome to be with her for the week. I wish Jennifer would have been able to be there though.

I'm grateful that I get to go up to Idaho again in three weeks and see everyone again =]

I love these girls so much =]

A Crinkle

This weekend my ward had a relief society sleepover. 

There were two main things I learned. One more important than the other.

1. A crinkle is less than a crush. So it's pretty much when you see a guy and you think "oh he's really cute. i would go on a date with him". So I mostly have had crinkles in my life. 

2. I'm not a typical Mormon girl. I feel like at BYU there is a mold for what girls should be like (bubbly, super righteous, really involved in service and in church callings, and just the typical Mormon women things). I'm not like that. Yeah I feel like I am righteous and yes I love this gospel with all my heart. But I'm not that super bubbly, flirtatious, airhead girl. I know this sounds really judgmental of me, but I feel like that's how most of the girls that have boyfriends and go on dates are. And maybe that's just me thinking that because I'm jealous. 

Well that was my insight to my life this weekend. Woohoo. 

Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them

Somebody needs to get me some rocks. Cause i'm ready to throw them.

Do you ever have a crush on someone and even though they have no idea who you are, you are just a little bit hopeful inside that someday they will like you? Well this seems to happen to me all the time. And I mean ALL the time. And yes it may be because I'm shy and awkward and don't really put myself out there, but even if I do, it seems that nothing happens.

So I guess this is a lesson to me. Stop getting your hopes up, Mary. Because it will hurt less if you didn't want it in the first place.

Maybe I shouldn't be throwing those rocks after all. Maybe I should just throw one?

My New Motto

Life's short and what I've realized tonight is that things will go on no matter how bad they seem and soon enough I'm just going to forget. So as bad as it hurts right now, life goes on and things will get better. After my mom saw the movie "We Bought a Zoo", she always quoted it and told us to use our 20 seconds of courage. I always kind of resented it because I would think to myself, "I have courage and I know what I'm doing." But honestly, I'm really not courageous. I'm afraid to talk to people because I'm afraid of getting hurt.   I'm afraid that I will get turned away by everyone. But the thing that I realized is so what? So what if those one or two people don't like me? At least I tried. So from now on I'm going to try and use this as my motto:

"You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it."

So even though I made a fool out of myself with that one cute boy. Or even if I scared people off by being my weird self, at least I tried. And I guess for right now that's good enough for me. Because if I don't ever try, then nothing good is ever going to happen. 

I love visitors!

So this past weekend was so much fun! My sisters, Jessica and Jenni, came to visit me! They got here on Wednesday night, (the 28th) and left on April 1st. The night they got here we went on a walk to the temple to see it all lit up! It was so pretty! And it was really nice for us to be able to talk and catch up.

On Thursday Jenni went to my D&C class with me. I don't really know what she thought about it, but it was fun to have her go with me! Thursday afternoon we went shopping and then Thursday night we went to a BYU Men's Volleyball game!

Friday we had to opportunity to go do baptisms for the dead in the Provo Temple! I love going to do baptisms, it makes me feel at peace with everything. And it was awesome for Jenni, because she had only done baptisms in the Denver temple. Friday night we went to the second half of the BYU Men's Volleyball Game!

On Saturday we had to be up bright and early because we were headed to Salt Lake to stand in the standby line for the morning session of General Conference. We got there around 7am and stood in line. A little bit before 8 and girl came up to us saying that she had 4 extra tickets and if we would like them. There was only 3 of us, but luckily there was a guy standing next to us that was alone so he took the other one! I am so grateful to that girl because who knows if we would have gotten in. This was our very first time at conference, and let me tell you, it was amazing! It was so cool to hear the general authorities speak in person. I had heard the Prophet speak at BYU devotional last semester (which was amazing), but conference was a different experience. The conference center was packed with saints from around the world. And the spirit there was just amazing. It was so cool to be surrounded by so many members of the church. I definitely hope to experience conference again in my lifetime! After the session was over, we walked around temple square for a little bit and it was packed! The protesters were just funny, because they didn't even know what they were talking about, and if they read the Book of Mormon or researched what we actually believed they would know that this is the true church. So after we were done there we hopped in the car and headed down to our brother's (Sam) grave. Next week, on April 8th, will be the 11th anniversary of his death. I know that I was only 7 when he died and i don't have very many memories with him, but I still think about him and miss him all the time. I can feel him with me sometimes and it helps me feel   like i am loved and that i am safe. I miss you Sammy! but i know that i will see you again someday!

Saturday night we went to Lowe's Xtreme Airsports, which is basically trampolines and foam pits that you jump into. There is also a rock climbing wall, that you climb and then fall into the foam pit. We had a lot of fun, but i was really sore the next day.

I was so sad when my sisters had to leave on sunday. They are my best friends and i miss them so much when i'm at school. I can't wait to go home for the summer and be with jennifer. I'm sad that jessica will be up at school though. One of the things i have definitely learned while being away at school, don't take your time with your family for granted!

This week my cute little chubby nephew, Jordan, is turning 1. i can't believe he's been with us for so long! i can't wait to see him and his sister, Annie Bear, in 2 weeks! I love my niece and nephews with all my heart and it's sad for me that i'm not there anymore to see them growing up.

But anyway, only a week and a half left of classes, and then finals week, and then i get to go home! i am so excited!

My New(ish) Obsessions

Most people that know me, know that I love music and I love reading. So it will be no surprise to them that that is what this post is about. Over the past couple of months I have fallen in love with a couple of things and I just thought I would share.

So i'll start off with the books. My friend recommend this series to me and i've read the two books that are out and I love them. The first book in the series is called Matched and it's written by Ally Condie. Basically it is about this society in the future, where everything you do is chosen for you even down to when you die. The people in the society don't get to choose who they marry but they get "matched" based on who is most alike them and who they are compatible for. So it just follows the story of this girl Cassia through her matching and afterwards. I know i'm not doing it justice. So just go read it. haha.

And now for music =]

One of my new favorite bands is The Wanted. They are amazing. They are a British band who has recently just started to get popular in America. My friend showed me a couple of their songs a couple of months ago and then The Warblers sang their song on Glee and they've started gaining more popularity since then (they've already had American fans for a little bit though). So if you haven't heard their song Glad You Came, i'm betting you have, then go check them out. I would recommend listening to Glad You Came, Gold Forever, Lightning, Warzone and Heart Vacancy =] those are my favorites =]

But my biggest new obsession since January is, One Direction. I cannot say enough how much i love them. As the fans would say, I have One Direction Infection. They are also from the UK. They were on the X Factor over there and came in third and recently came over to America to open up for Big Time Rush. Since they were on the X Factor they can all actually sing! And let me tell you, they are amazing! (and very attractive too =]) So anyway, you definitely need to go check them out too! I would recommend listening to, What Makes You Beautiful, One Thing, and More Than This. Actually just listen to their whole CD, because it's amazing.

Oh and because the movie just came out, i need to talk about it. THE HUNGER GAMES was amazing! I went to the midnight showing and I was really pleased with what they did with it! I thought that with the amount of time they had they did an amazing job including mostly everything in the movie. So if you liked the book, then go see the movie. The cast did a really good job.

Okay so that's pretty much everything.

It's starting to get warm outside and it's making me really anxious to go home in 4 weeks!

I just gotta get through the next 2 and a half weeks of classes and then through final week and then ill be home for the summer! I can't wait to see my mom and my sisters. and my niece and nephew!

The awkward lunch and the great games!

Be prepared for a blog full of awkwardness. haha. 

So when I first started this blog I promised awkward stories. Well I have one from not this past week but the week before. It was the tuesday after President's Day. Me and my friends Alex and Kaitlyn were at lunch in the Wilk and we saw this really cute guy. And i recognized him from somewhere (not a big shocker for me). So we were thinking about it and I finally realized that he had given a talk at the Religion Symposium that we had gone to the previous friday. So my friends were like "Mary go talk to him!" So i walked all the way across the cougareat to go talk to him. And yeah it was a really awkward conversation. That's all im gonna say about it. Haha. 

So the next great story of these past 2 weeks...i met Brandon Davies. I've wanted to meet him for so long! Me and my friends were at the men's volleyball game on the 24th and we saw him walk in and walk up the bleachers to go sit in the back of the smith fieldhouse. So me and my friend Hailey were like we wanna make sure to see if that's really him. So we went a walked over there and it was him. At the end of the game we were like "shoot we really need to meet him!" so we didn't want to go up to him and creep him out, we wanted to wait for him to walk out so it would be less awkward. but he wasn't walking out. so finally my friend alyssa convinced me to just go talk to him. So me and my friend Hailey went up there and the only thing i could say was, "are you Brandon Davies?" he smiles and points to the guy behind him and is like, "no that guy is". im glad he turned my awkward moment into something funny cause i was so nervous. anyway we were like can we get a picture with you. and so he said yes. and it was amazing. he's so tall. and i just love him. haha. so here's the picture:

so the next story...

me and my friends, alyssa and kaitlyn, went to the mall yesterday. me and alyssa were waiting outside of the bathroom for kaitlyn and alyssa goes, "wouldn't that be awesome if #7, Phil, from the volleyball team was here?" and i was like yeah that'd be legit! (because phil is so attractive). anyway, we walk out to the food court to get lunch and while we are waiting for our food im just looking around and i see this really attractive guy so i do a double take and im all like hold up. is that phil? sure enough it was. so we got our food. and went and sat down. and my friends were like "mary go talk to him!" so i went up to him (and this lady that looked like his aunt or mom was with him) and was like "are you #7 from the volleyball team?" and he was like "yeah" and he just looked really shocked. and then the lady was like "oh thats so cool that people are recognizing you!" and so i was just standing there so i was like "well good luch at your game tonight!" and he was like "thanks. are you gonna be there?" and so i said "yeah of course!" and he was like "okay well see you there!" and the lady goes "you should make a sign for him!" and i just kinda laughed and then was like "okay well i gotta go." and phil said, "see you tonight!" so me and my friends always go early to the games cause we like to get front row seats. and we're there and phil is talking to his teammates and then points up at me. and i kinda duck back cause i was like oh gosh. anyway that was that. and so tonight it was the second half of the game. and during the game they threw out these basketball stress balls. and so i caught one. and my friend Neil goes, "mary you should write your number on it and throw it to Phil" thinking i wouldn't really do it. but when someone says something like that to me, i like to do it. so i wrote my number on it and waited for the game to be over so i could throw it to him. so the game was over (we won!) and my and my friend hailey walk over to where they walk out and as hes walking out she yells "phil" and he looks up and i threw it to him. he looked at it and was like "yeah! thank you!" so i don't think he'll text me. but it was still a good memory for me. and it forced me to do something out of my comfort zone. back home i would have never done anything like that. so even if nothing comes of it (which im sure it wont), im still grateful for the experience it gave me =]

Gosh, i love this school so much! 

one of the best nights of my life!

So last night me and 3 of my friends, Alyssa, Alex, and Heather, went to the Hot Chelle Rae concert in Salt Lake. It was so much fun!

The concert started at 7 and we got there around 645. Even though we weren't super early, we still at a good distance from the stage! Electric Touch came on first. They are a british-american rock band and they are super good! So if you wanna check them out, here is one of their songs that i love!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-z3GZaF9kE&ob=av2e

So after they were done, we were waiting for Cady Groves to come out. Electric Touch came out to sign things. The line was pretty long and me and Alyssa didn't really wanna buy anything for them to sign. But we did get to take a picture with their keyboardist, Isaac, who is very cute =]

So after we got this picture, Cady Groves came on. I wasn't really too pleased with her. You can tell that her voice is auto tuned a lot on her CD's because she was very nasally, and just not really good live.

Regardless, I do love on of her songs called "This Little Girl" so if you wanna check out that song, then go here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-EJxUCyVJ8&ob=av2n

After she was done, we waited a little bit while they set up for Hot Chelle Rae. OH MY GOODNESS. They are AMAZING live. When they came out it was crazy. They are all so attractive in person. Like for reals. Their pictures don't do them justice. They opened with Beautiful Freaks, because after all it is their Beautiful Freaks Tour. And then they followed that with Tonight Tonight.  Oh man. It was just awesome. Ryan kept saying how he was so surprised at how many people were there. It's cause we love them! They did songs from both of their albums, "Lovesick Electric" and "Whatever". Among some of the songs they did were, I Like to Dance, I Like it Like That, Whatever, Honestly, Bleed, Alright, and just a ton more! I sung along to every word! I really love them so much. Can you tell that i'm still on a high from last night? haha. Ryan and Nash even played the first song they wrote together back in high school. It's called Emo. And it's hilarious. Pretty much it just makes fun of Emo kids. Haha. So at the end of the concert, they walked off stage and of course they weren't done. They came back out and sang Whatever. And then Ryan said they would sing one more song if we promised to sing along with him. So they sang Tonight Tonight again. And he pretty much just let the crowd sing the whole song. But that was okay! Because it was so awesome. And it was so cool to see how much fun they looked like they were having and how surprised they were that people actually knew their music. So when they were done, Ryan jumped into the crowd and went crowd surfing. He is amazing. Seriously. And he's so dang attractive! So here's a couple of pictures from last night =]

So after the concert was over, I was like oh goodness I really want to meet them. So we went out to the back where the tour bus was. And we were waiting there with like 20 other fans. Some stupid guy tried to climb the fence to get to their bus. So security came over and one girl was talking to them asking them if Hot Chelle Rae was gonna come out and meet us. The security guy told us to go back inside the venue. So we went back and sure enough, Hot Chelle Rae came out like 5 minutes later! They were only signing stuff because they didn't have enough time to take pictures with everyone. So we bought posters cause we didn't have anything for them to sign. We weren't even allowed to hug them. I was freaking out as we got up close and i was like 5 steps away from them. I met Nash first. And oh goodness. He's so cute! All that i could really manage to say was, I love you! And then i told him, tell your brother Chord that i love him too! and he just kinda laughed at that and he was like, "of course i'll do that". so then next, I got to meet Ryan! Of course  I told him that I loved him, and he said "i love you too!" i almost died inside. And even though we weren't supposed to hug them, that didn't stop me. I was like, "Ryan, can i please hug you?" and he said, "hug me, hug me". so then i got to hug him. oh my goodness. best.thing.ever. seriously. then i got to meet jamie and ian. they were both kinda quiet and didn't say much. but they were both cute too! after we got all of their signatures i was freaking out. no joke. i just met this band that i have loved for awhile. i was so excited. i love them so much. i was so grateful to them for coming out and signing autographs even though they had a 15 hour drive ahead of them that night. they were so nice and just awesome. i would love to go to another one of their concerts.

so this picture is right before we met them:

and then this one was right after we met them!

it was by far one of the best nights of my life. and for sure the best night of my semester. 

so this is the concert shirt that we both got =]

and this is my signed poster =] 

we love Hot Chelle Rae!!! <3

Okay well that's it! And in the words (lyrics) of Hot Chelle Rae, "Imma go cause I got no problem with saying goodbye" =]

Confused

Let me just start out by saying that since the last post, life has been pretty crazy...

On thursday night me and my friends went to the BYU basketball game against Loyola Marymount. Which was pretty embarrassing. They lost 68-82. I was not happy. haha. So yeah. I've loved being here at BYU and being able to go to the sports games. Basketball is the best. And might i just add that all of the players are very attractive =] especially Brandon Davies. I would marry him. haha. 

Last night, me and my friends went to the "war on winter" at the Wilk. There was a dance, laser tag, and inflatable obstacle courses. We were there till 11:30. and it was a nice way to let loose after a long week of school. 

This morning me and my friends drove to Salt Lake to go to a Wedding Premier Show held at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. And it was a lot of fun. We got to see a lot of gorgeous modest dresses, taste food, take photobooth pictures, and got a lot of wedding magazines =] It was kinda awkward though cause none of us are getting married anytime and the people there would ask us which one of us was getting married and so we'd be like, "none of us" and then they didnt really want to talk to us anymore about their services. Which is alright. I understand. But we love weddings. And it was fun to go and just get out of Provo.

Once we got back to Provo we started apartment hunting because contracts are being signed soon. YAY. not. We have six girls that want to live with each other and so we already know that much. But the hard part is finding a place that everyone will agree on. We found two places that we like. But a couple of us prefer one over the other one. And its definitely not bringing out the best in all of us. Glenwood (where I would love to live) seems like such a better choice. But then there is Park Place, which is a lot closer to campus. How are we supposed to choose? Because i feel like no matter which apartment complex we choose, there is going to be at least one of us that is not happy. And i don't want to go into fall semester with people not happy about where we are living. I'm just gonna outline a little bit about each apartment complex...

Glenwood:

• It's very open. 
• The kitchen is big and it's not all cramped together.
• There are two bathrooms and two sinks. The nice thing is that the sinks are outside of the bathrooms. So there is more space to get ready. 
• Everything is inside. When you open your front door, you are opening to a hallway which is connected to other buildings.
• The boys in the ward are close. They are just two buildings down but you are connected to them through hallways. Of course this would be important...haha ;)
• The living room area is pretty big and the couches are pretty nice. 
• We talked to a couple of people who live there that said the wards are awesome and very social and there are always activities going on. 
• There's a pool =] and a hot tub!
• After curfew, when you have to be out of the member of the opposite sex's apartment, you can stay in the hallways or breezeways. 
• It's closer to the temple than the other one. It's on the north side of campus behind where i'm living now. So it's also closer to the stadium, the Marriott center, and the gym. 
• Nice walk in closets

Park Place:

• Only a 5 minute walk from campus. 
• A town home style apartment (kitchen, living room downstairs and bedrooms upstairs)
• Big living room, can fit a lot of people
• Shares a hot tub with a neighboring apartment complex
• Boys in the ward from a different apartment complex
• Closer to all the science buildings on campus. Which would be nice for me cause that's where all my classes are.
• Sinks outside of the bathrooms.
• Two bathrooms. One upstairs, one downstairs.
• Kitchen kind of cramped together and the eating area is separated from the cooking area. 
• No air conditioning. 

That's mostly what I can think of right now. But contracts need to be signed soon. So hopefully tomorrow we can come up with a decision of where we want to live. Shoot. This makes me so excited for next year. I love living in the dorms but i'll be so happy to be with RM's and have a kitchen and be living with all my best friends =]

Oh and my awkward story for the day...while we were on a tour of Glenwood, our tour guide was asking us if we had any questions for him. And so i whispered quietly (or so i thought) to my friends, "what's the male black population here?" (Cause me and my friends would love to date/marry black guys. haha.) and so he heard me and started cracking up. and was like, "oh so you're into black guys?" and everyone else on the tour just kinda weirdly stared at me. so yupp. that's my life. Anyway, decisions decisions. Will it ever get easier? No, i don't think so. 

All So New...

So I've never done a blog before. It's gonna be interesting to see how this goes. Pretty much I felt like I should start this because i'm bad about keeping a journal and this is just a way for me to get my thoughts out. It's not really for anyone...just for me. That way I can look back on my time here and remember how crazy/fun/awkward it was. I feel like I need to describe the title of this blog. I can say and do some pretty awkward things. And the thing is, I don't really care anymore. Yeah I care what people think of me and everything but I've realized there is no use in pretending to be someone i'm not and if people can't handle me when i'm being myself then what's the point of trying to impress them with who i'm not? So yes. I'm awkward.

Now to get on to school...I love it here! The atmosphere at BYU is amazing. It can be a little overbearing at sometimes but that's to be expected jumping into a different world than back home. I love being surrounded by people who have the same belief's as me. I love having a prayer before every class. I love calling my professors "Sister" or "Brother". And most of all, I love my friends here. They are so amazing. I really don't think I would have made it through last semester without them. They were always there to support me and to comfort me. Being homesick is the worst. And it hit me really bad last semester. I felt like no one else understood my situation because everyone acts so put together. But that's the thing. It's just an act. And I think I finally realized it when I started to talk to my friends about how I was feeling and they were in the same boat. That's the thing about your first year away from home. Everyone acts like they have everything all down. When most of us are in the same boat. Totally confused. A little scared about the future. And missing everything back home.