Confused

Let me just start out by saying that since the last post, life has been pretty crazy...

On thursday night me and my friends went to the BYU basketball game against Loyola Marymount. Which was pretty embarrassing. They lost 68-82. I was not happy. haha. So yeah. I've loved being here at BYU and being able to go to the sports games. Basketball is the best. And might i just add that all of the players are very attractive =] especially Brandon Davies. I would marry him. haha. 

Last night, me and my friends went to the "war on winter" at the Wilk. There was a dance, laser tag, and inflatable obstacle courses. We were there till 11:30. and it was a nice way to let loose after a long week of school. 

This morning me and my friends drove to Salt Lake to go to a Wedding Premier Show held at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. And it was a lot of fun. We got to see a lot of gorgeous modest dresses, taste food, take photobooth pictures, and got a lot of wedding magazines =] It was kinda awkward though cause none of us are getting married anytime and the people there would ask us which one of us was getting married and so we'd be like, "none of us" and then they didnt really want to talk to us anymore about their services. Which is alright. I understand. But we love weddings. And it was fun to go and just get out of Provo.

Once we got back to Provo we started apartment hunting because contracts are being signed soon. YAY. not. We have six girls that want to live with each other and so we already know that much. But the hard part is finding a place that everyone will agree on. We found two places that we like. But a couple of us prefer one over the other one. And its definitely not bringing out the best in all of us. Glenwood (where I would love to live) seems like such a better choice. But then there is Park Place, which is a lot closer to campus. How are we supposed to choose? Because i feel like no matter which apartment complex we choose, there is going to be at least one of us that is not happy. And i don't want to go into fall semester with people not happy about where we are living. I'm just gonna outline a little bit about each apartment complex...

Glenwood:

• It's very open. 
• The kitchen is big and it's not all cramped together.
• There are two bathrooms and two sinks. The nice thing is that the sinks are outside of the bathrooms. So there is more space to get ready. 
• Everything is inside. When you open your front door, you are opening to a hallway which is connected to other buildings.
• The boys in the ward are close. They are just two buildings down but you are connected to them through hallways. Of course this would be important...haha ;)
• The living room area is pretty big and the couches are pretty nice. 
• We talked to a couple of people who live there that said the wards are awesome and very social and there are always activities going on. 
• There's a pool =] and a hot tub!
• After curfew, when you have to be out of the member of the opposite sex's apartment, you can stay in the hallways or breezeways. 
• It's closer to the temple than the other one. It's on the north side of campus behind where i'm living now. So it's also closer to the stadium, the Marriott center, and the gym. 
• Nice walk in closets

Park Place:

• Only a 5 minute walk from campus. 
• A town home style apartment (kitchen, living room downstairs and bedrooms upstairs)
• Big living room, can fit a lot of people
• Shares a hot tub with a neighboring apartment complex
• Boys in the ward from a different apartment complex
• Closer to all the science buildings on campus. Which would be nice for me cause that's where all my classes are.
• Sinks outside of the bathrooms.
• Two bathrooms. One upstairs, one downstairs.
• Kitchen kind of cramped together and the eating area is separated from the cooking area. 
• No air conditioning. 

That's mostly what I can think of right now. But contracts need to be signed soon. So hopefully tomorrow we can come up with a decision of where we want to live. Shoot. This makes me so excited for next year. I love living in the dorms but i'll be so happy to be with RM's and have a kitchen and be living with all my best friends =]

Oh and my awkward story for the day...while we were on a tour of Glenwood, our tour guide was asking us if we had any questions for him. And so i whispered quietly (or so i thought) to my friends, "what's the male black population here?" (Cause me and my friends would love to date/marry black guys. haha.) and so he heard me and started cracking up. and was like, "oh so you're into black guys?" and everyone else on the tour just kinda weirdly stared at me. so yupp. that's my life. Anyway, decisions decisions. Will it ever get easier? No, i don't think so. 

All So New...

So I've never done a blog before. It's gonna be interesting to see how this goes. Pretty much I felt like I should start this because i'm bad about keeping a journal and this is just a way for me to get my thoughts out. It's not really for anyone...just for me. That way I can look back on my time here and remember how crazy/fun/awkward it was. I feel like I need to describe the title of this blog. I can say and do some pretty awkward things. And the thing is, I don't really care anymore. Yeah I care what people think of me and everything but I've realized there is no use in pretending to be someone i'm not and if people can't handle me when i'm being myself then what's the point of trying to impress them with who i'm not? So yes. I'm awkward.

Now to get on to school...I love it here! The atmosphere at BYU is amazing. It can be a little overbearing at sometimes but that's to be expected jumping into a different world than back home. I love being surrounded by people who have the same belief's as me. I love having a prayer before every class. I love calling my professors "Sister" or "Brother". And most of all, I love my friends here. They are so amazing. I really don't think I would have made it through last semester without them. They were always there to support me and to comfort me. Being homesick is the worst. And it hit me really bad last semester. I felt like no one else understood my situation because everyone acts so put together. But that's the thing. It's just an act. And I think I finally realized it when I started to talk to my friends about how I was feeling and they were in the same boat. That's the thing about your first year away from home. Everyone acts like they have everything all down. When most of us are in the same boat. Totally confused. A little scared about the future. And missing everything back home.